on the cusp

So, I stand on the cusp of new beginnings. A new year beckons and with it a new life of such profound change that I can't imagine how things will be. Even if I do, its unlikely that my current self will have much of a clue about how it will really be, its just not really possible to picture. I'm going to be a dad.

I'm excited and nervous and all the other things that men are when they know their first child is on the way. She's due in 9 days. And although I'm certainly not the first to experience this, it feels like I am. A kick from her from under my hand or against my cheek has me pretty much in tears. Not tears of sorrow or joy but just humbled wonderment. Its the Miracle of Life right before my eyes and I just never got it until now. Sure, I've known people who are pregnant and people with kids but its so different when its your turn.

When we first announced we were pregnant I got a call from my kiwi mate Matt in England. It was an ungodly hour in the UK but he called nevertheless:
"Congratultions bro, thats awesome news. Now, you make sure you sing to her every night."
And I pretty much have. I'd always wanted to, me being a muso and after seeing the movie Mr Holland's Opus way back, I'd planned to anyway.

So I play her music by delicately balancing miniature speakers on my wife's belly and I sing her a song before bedtime. Its pretty tough to sing a song softly while scrunched down in the bed at belly height but I like to think she appreciates it.

Studies have shown that a song played to baby in the last weeks of pregnancy can have a calming effect on them once they're born. Its the familiarity that infants like, a certainty in a largely uncertain world. Its not why I do it though, even before I knew I would be a dad, I knew I'd do this.